Why Exclusion is Everyone’s Problem
In Episode 38 of Why Care?, I had the pleasure of talking to Jenny Garrett, career coach, leadership developer, TEDx Speaker and author of Equality vs Equity, among many other impressive accomplishments. We cover a range of topics including the myth of meritocracy, colourism and the interests of majority groups in DEI.
In conversation with Jenny, I was taken aback as she shared a shocking incident of racism that she experienced at a gala dinner, where the lack of allyship from witnesses impacted her greatly. She reflects that the witnesses had not taken into account that “my pain was everyone’s pain”. This sparked my thoughts on the ways in which exclusion, whether it takes place on a small or large scale, negatively impacts everyone in the local and global community.
How does exclusion harm everyone?
We all live within a system, multiple systems in fact – whether it be society, organisations, or families and friendship groups. Imagine the system has invisible threads that connect each and everyone of us. If one person shifts, it alters the connections between each and every person in the system – it is dynamic and ever changing. So, one person’s exclusionary actions towards another, doesn’t just harm that one person – everyone else sees it and feels it. It sets the benchmark of what is expected and acceptable in the system.
Once people see one person being spoken down to, othered or discriminated against for who they are, it minimises the legitimacy and voices of everyone else who may fall into the underrepresented category in some way. This then leads to covering aspects of who they are for fear that being themselves will lead to the same negative treatment as they have witnessed in others. People in the system may not all respond or be affected in the same way, but that are indeed all affected somehow. For more information on how minority groups may alter themselves to assimilate into workplaces see my previous article, ‘Why Do We Experience the Same Workplaces Differently?’
So, does exclusion also impact those in majority groups?
Yes.
Both carrying out and witnessing (as Jenny touches on) exclusionary behaviours can foster feelings of guilt, shame, or discomfort that we carry with us. It may also impact our self-perception or lead to cognitive dissonance when we notice a contradiction between what we think and what we do. If we find ourselves in harmful social dynamics , it breaks down relational bonds, creates tension and a lack of psychological safety, and these environments impact everyone.
Exclusion also means we are missing opportunities to form genuine connections and new lenses of perception, limiting our personal development, empathy, and awareness. Even on a global scale, excluding groups from spaces means we are missing opportunities for social, scientific and economic development that might otherwise have taken place.
How can I react when witnessing exclusion?
We can use the same discomfort we feel in witnessing these situations (both directly or indirectly) to empower us to take action. Knowing how to navigate in-person interactions is not obvious, yet taking action in these circumstances holds great potential for positive change. You can be an upstander (an active ally) by:
Using logic and reasoning to mitigate harmful and misinformed statements if the person does not appear to be intentionally malicious.
Interrupting or distracting the person, or speaking directly to the individual who is affected to acknowledge and validate them.
Establish a firm and immediate boundary, for example: “I do not appreciate the way you are addressing…” and support the target in reporting the incident to HR, a manager, or to the police as a hate crime.
My upcoming book Beyond Discomfort: Why Inclusive Leadership is so Hard (and what you can do about it) delves deeper into utilising discomfort as a tool for greater inclusion. The book is out on 26th March 2024 and is available for pre-order here.
How can Avenir help?
We are not expected to know how to handle situations like this without prior knowledge and training, particularly in the context of workplaces. This is why I have partnered with the brilliant Louise Emily Thompson, a professional artist, podcast host and the founder of Art After Dark Co, to hold an insightful and comprehensive 2-hour DEI experiential workshop, The Art of Allyship. The workshop is designed using collaborative artmaking, music, and storytelling to communicate what it means to be an ally and how to develop the core skills for allyship.
We have a special open workshop on Thursday 18th January, from 10:30 – 12:30 GMT. You can reserve your place here: https://louiseemily.com/products/art-of-allyship-workshop.