Identities That Spill Over Borders

In the 49th episode of Why Care? I had the pleasure of an exciting conversation with the Permalloo Sisters - Shelina Permalloo, MasterChef winner and celebrated chef, and Pamela Permalloo Bass, a diversity, equity and inclusion expert with extensive experience in the NHS. In the episode we touch on culture, family, and the incredibly nuanced and endlessly fascinating topics of belonging, diaspora, and what it means to be British.

What does belonging to a place really mean?

To belong means to feel accepted, valued, and represented within a group of people from a given culture, nation, or race. It’s the sense of being rooted in a way that provides stability and affirmation of identity. Belonging is often tied to acceptance, connection, comfort and recognition.

Why is belonging to more than one place challenging?

Belonging to more than one place is often tricky because individuals often feel their unique experiences are misunderstood and underrepresented by both parties. This can be particularly hard because acceptance is an integral part of belonging. In the episode, Shelina touches on how some Mauritians told her that she has “lost [her] creole” and is therefore “British”, since they equate language with belonging. However, Shelina feels that it is food which connects her most closely to her identity: her form of cultural preservation. Second generation immigrants and the diaspora often find themselves connecting with their roots in intimate, small ways that others already immersed in that culture may overlook.

This sense of alienation can be intensified when there are clashes or conflict between the two cultures. For instance, British culture often values individualism, while Eastern cultures emphasise the collective family. Individuals may struggle to reconcile the personal freedom valued in British society with the strong familial expectations of their heritage. These tensions can create a push-and-pull dynamic where neither culture feels fully accommodated.

Reframing belonging

Even within a single identity, there are various shades of grey. Two people who both call themselves British might have entirely distinct experiences depending on their age, gender or ethnicity. For example, where one person might find cricket or football to be a defining part of their connection to Britain, another may find that the work ethic and values of self-reliance in Britain is what they identify with the most. Belonging isn’t about perfectly aligning with every aspect of a culture.

Beyond this, it is helpful to consider belonging more like a river—flowing, adapting and reshaping itself as it moves, rather than being tied to a fixed destination, because who we are and how we perceive ourselves is constantly shifting.

The very idea of ‘Britishness’ is more fluid than we may think. Roman Britain was home to a sizable population of North Africans, with “evidence [found] for the presence of North Africans in over 45% of the sites investigated as part of a study published in 2012”. Fast forward to the 20th century, and the Windrush generation had redefined what it meant to contribute to British society. Even something as ‘quintessentially British’ as a cup of tea has its roots in China and became popular through colonial trade with India. When we think about belonging this way, it’s clear that identity is far from static - it’s dynamic, multifaceted, and shaped by the richness of various, often global influences. Reframing identity in this way makes it easier to blend together and harmonise multiple cultures and to make sense of identities that spill over the edge of socially-constructed borders.

How can Avenir help?

At Avenir, we offer an Inclusive Leadership Programme, which provides you with the support and guidance you need to foster constructive, efficient, people-first workplaces. We also have our Leading with Cultural Intelligence workshop to help understand the complexity of what culture means and how to navigate culture-critical conversations.

My new book, Beyond Discomfort: Why inclusive leadership is so hard (and what you can do about it) is also a valuable tool for learning how to harness discomfort as a catalyst for positive change and greater returns. You can get your hands on a copy of the book here. It is also available as an audiobook to listen to on the go.